Friday, July 24, 2009

Childrearing Part Deux

It has been a few months since the first installation of the child-rearing series I have here. You can find the first post in the archive if you want to read it again or have never seen it.

It bothers me to see parents tell their children they are to be seen and not heard. It bothered me even when I was a kid. Respect is key and paramount, especially for children but when you teach them that they can't speak to an adult unless first spoken to, it decreases their perception of themselves. Who are we if not teachers? How can we teach when we don't know what they do and do not know? Yet, we subject them to senseless arguments on a daily basis of which they do not understand, except for the basic concepts--because children are able to grasp more than is often accredited. Keeping a window of communication and allowing that window togrow, adapt and expand as your child grows can help ensure that, in the teenage years, you don't have a door or wall of miscommunication.
What about when it comes to discipline? We know that it is better to teach them the hard way now with punishments than to let them turn into rotten brats. Yet, if we simply throw them into the corner when they do something wrong, are we not giving the impression that we can throw people to the side if they are not pleasing us? Should you not discuss with your child the disrespectful nature, dangerousness or other significance of their actions and its consequences? I think you should and it is what I do. I don't want any child saying to me, You don't have to shout or Look out, she's mad. I don't put children in the corner because they make me feel like it but because they need to be there because of their own choices...and they know that.

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